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Triangulation

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I was thinking today about something that NM (narcissist mother) said, a few years ago. She had said she wanted my NGC (narc golden child) sister & I to get along, since we were only going to have each other when she died.

What NM didn’t seem to be aware of is, we had always gotten along & been very close.

If it hadn’t been for me, NM wouldn’t have a relationship with NGC (narc golden child) in the first place. When NGC left home, she vowed to me that she would never have any thing to do with NM ever again. It was I, that talked NGC to be on speaking terms with NM.

On hindsight, I wish I hadn’t of encouraged NGC to remain in contact with NM. Maybe NGC would of been a better person than she has turned out to be. Maybe our relationship would still be intact & we’d still be as close as we use to be.

It wasn’t until NM started interfering & sabotaging our relationship, that we are no longer on speaking terms now. My NGC sister has bought all of NM’s lies, hook line & sinker.

I can only guess that NM felt threatened by my close relationship to her NGC. Who really knows what goes threw the mind of a narcissist?

I will probably always miss my NGC sister, with all her faults. I’ll always miss the special moments I tried to make for her, when NM made so much pain & chaos for our childhood.

The traditions of playing & building a snowman in the first snowfall, of the winter, together. When I use to read Twas the Night Before Christmas, when she was young. All memories that I will always cherish. NM will never have those memories, as a mother would have if she raised her children.

It’s so sad, things could have been so different. The hardest part is knowing that my life could of been so different, if I’d of been loved half as much as the NGC was.

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Picture of me & my sister, when she loved me. She will always be that little girl in my eyes & heart.

Thoughts by Naomi

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7 thoughts on “Triangulation

  1. I couldn’t stop crying reading this. I just realized how much I miss my little sister whom is not in contact with me due to my NM. I have learned my lessons to keep out of that mess. But only someone like you know how much we give up when we say enough to narcissism

  2. I have a similar situation. My mother told evil, character assassinating, projecting lies about me to everyone in the family. She did this to justify throwing me away when I was only fourteen. Although my siblings and my grandparents had loved me before she told these lies, most of my family have shunned me ever since.

    Like you with your sister, I tried many times over the years to reach out to my family. I finally gave up.

    You have my empathy, Naomi. I know how lonely and painful it is.


  3. Try calling her? Write her a letter? How perfectly sad!
    Make the first move and if she refused, you will at least have the satisfaction knowing that you did good? That you did try?

    • I have called, emailed, & text her. In her eyes I don’t exists. I even sent her some pages from my journal about missing her. I can only guess that I have committed some cardinal sin against her narcissisism. I hope maybe one day she will change her mind, then maybe we can heal our relationship. Though I doubt it will happen as long as NM controls her.
      Thanks for your support.

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