I was thinking today about something that NM (narcissist mother) said, a few years ago. She had said she wanted my NGC (narc golden child) sister & I to get along, since we were only going to have each other when she died.
What NM didn’t seem to be aware of is, we had always gotten along & been very close.
If it hadn’t been for me, NM wouldn’t have a relationship with NGC (narc golden child) in the first place. When NGC left home, she vowed to me that she would never have any thing to do with NM ever again. It was I, that talked NGC to be on speaking terms with NM.
On hindsight, I wish I hadn’t of encouraged NGC to remain in contact with NM. Maybe NGC would of been a better person than she has turned out to be. Maybe our relationship would still be intact & we’d still be as close as we use to be.
It wasn’t until NM started interfering & sabotaging our relationship, that we are no longer on speaking terms now. My NGC sister has bought all of NM’s lies, hook line & sinker.
I can only guess that NM felt threatened by my close relationship to her NGC. Who really knows what goes threw the mind of a narcissist?
I will probably always miss my NGC sister, with all her faults. I’ll always miss the special moments I tried to make for her, when NM made so much pain & chaos for our childhood.
The traditions of playing & building a snowman in the first snowfall, of the winter, together. When I use to read Twas the Night Before Christmas, when she was young. All memories that I will always cherish. NM will never have those memories, as a mother would have if she raised her children.
It’s so sad, things could have been so different. The hardest part is knowing that my life could of been so different, if I’d of been loved half as much as the NGC was.
Thoughts by Naomi