I woke up sad, depressed, and angry like I do every morning since I’ve lived where I am.
I live in low income housing. Where there is black mold under the building, mold on the leaky roof, and probably between the walls too, since the roof has leaked for years now. No proper drainage on the property either. So every time it gets wet under the building, there is septic fumes and back up in the apartment. The floors are always damp and cold, which makes sence, since the heater vents are almost 3 feet above the floor. By the end of the day your couch and bed feel like a block of ice. So I’m not surprised when my arthritis hurts. In the winter, I watch the mirage of heat escape threw the roof of the building next to mine. I know, that like them, I’ll have a $200 heating bill every month.
If that isn’t enough the landlord is a narcissists, who threatens you with eviction if you dare question her authority. She also knows all about the horribly, unhealthy living conditions that her elderly and handicapped tenants deal with every day. But since she doesn’t live here, she doesn’t really care. She’s also let convicted felonies live here, without being on a lease. But I had to go threw a background check to qualify to live in this slum.
In the 2yrs I’ve lived here, I’ve been threatened by the slumlord, physically assaulted, and had my apartment broken into. Now I understand why some people choose to be homeless, at least they have their freedom.
Some people might ask, why don’t I move? I ask them how I do that on only $900 a month, before bills? By the time I pay my bills and buy a small amount of food for the month, there is no money for anything else. That doesn’t include a couple of bills I still had from my working days, that I will never be able to pay off now.
So why not file bankruptcy? If I do I can’t move cause of the background check for low income housing. They think you don’t pay your bills, even though I have until this difficult time in my life.
So why not go back to work? I tried to do that too. But for every 10 cents I would make, the slumlord gets 25 cents.
Here’s another kicker, I make to much money from social security that I don’t qualify for Medicaid or food stamps. Dog food can taste pretty good when you have nothing else. You’d be surprised how little food you can get by on. I also pay for my Medicare, a second time.
I have been discriminated against and treated like I have no rights as a human being. All because of what the dollar amount is in pockets.
Yes, I live in poverty. It’s hard to believe that 3yrs ago I too was a working middle class person. Trust me, I never thought I’d be here either.
Yes, the system is broke. It’s designed to keep you in poverty once you get there, with no help of changing your sercomestances even if you wanted to. No more hopes or dreams of anything left, just another day in hell. Despair is a constant companion. I am now one of the invisible nobody’s that don’t have any rights to exist. I’m a waste of space.
So again I ask, tell me, why will tomorrow be a better day? Because from where I sit, I’m looking forward to death more.
Thoughts by Naomi