Life

Memorials

Like the rest of the country, I’ve been hearing about all these Civil War Memorials being taken down or removed. The more it happens, the more it’s troubling me. So, I wanted to voice some thoughts to ponder on.

I would think, that depending on your background and beliefs, each of these memorials would mean something different to each person. Do we really think about them, and what they represent, when we can’t pay our bills, because we’re unemployed?

Washington and Jefferson are on Mt Rushmore. Though they were slave owners. They also gave our country the things that make us what we are today.  Are we going to blow it up, to remove it?

Now, don’t get me wrong,  I do understand the duress these memorials cause for the Afro American communities. Slavery was a horrible time in our American history. Kind of like Americas version of Hitler against Jews. With unspeakable acts against humanity.

Maybe, only the face of slavery has changed. Don’t we all live in some form of slavery, with poverty, bills, government, hatred, fear, and so on? When did we start letting our past define who we are now? Could that be keeping us from our greatest potential, in the future?

A couple of years ago, I watched a show on PBS about the evolution of mankind. Anthropologist and archeologist have found human bones, in Africa, dating back 63 thousand years. Making them the oldest bones ever found. Evolution of all man starts in Africa. Wouldn’t that mean that we have a little black DNA in all of us? Only our skin color changed due to the reigns that we migrated to.

My personal opinion is these memorials should stay, as a constant reminder of our past curel history. So, hopefully we won’t repeat it. I think taking them down is sweeping it under the rug, to hide it. Which I think belittles the ancestors of slavery, of all the courage they had to survive horrific odds against them. Isn’t that the real and true sense of the American Spirit of our country? Maybe, we should be more inspired by the slaves and their struggles, along with our forefathers.  To be more grateful for what we have now. That out struggles are not as great, as those that came before us.

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Friends? 

I’ve had this girlfriend for the last couple years. She’s always been telling me to put myself,  and my  needs before other people’s. The irony is, when I do put my needs first, she has the nerve to get angry with me.

I’ve also started to see other things in our relationship too. Like all the negative things she says about other people, and life in general. I’ve tried to be supportive and help her find solutions. But she seems more interested in me joining in her personal pity party. Which in turn depresses me. Now, I don’t mind helping. But, this is becoming every time we talk lately.

Another thing I’ve noticed is how she disrespectfully interrupts me when I’m talking. This really annoys me. Several times, I’ve explained to her that I can’t hear her when she talks over me. Which doesn’t seem to matter to her.

Not to mention our conversations have become extremely one sided. She’ll talk my leg off, as long as it’s her saying what she wants to talk about. When I want to talk about something, other than her, she has to go. It’s like she just wants to hear herself talk, by talking at me, not with me.

A few months back, I tried to get a little emotion support with a difficult time in my life. She pretty much blew me off, by saying she couldn’t help me.

Just the other day, I had something I was excited about. Upon sharing it with her, she made no comment about it, and went back to talking about herself. It was like I never said anything at all. She couldn’t even be happy with me.

Since then, I’ve stopped telling her anything going on in my life. She’s made it pretty clear to me that she really doesn’t care about me. If anything, I think it bothers her that I’m trying to improve my life and happiness.

On our last conversation over her interrupting me. Which, she interrupted. When that didn’t work, she just hung up on me (not the first time that’s happened). She usually gives me the silent treatment, and pouts for about a week. Even after I’ve called and left a message, she is continuing her silent treatment. Then, when something new happens in her life, usually something negative, she calls again. If I don’t answer, her tone gets pretty nasty towards me, by leaving derogatory messages.

So, while rummaging around WP (WordPress), I found all these articles on Toxic Relationships/Friendships. Not only did it open my eyes that this is what I’ve been dealing with. It also showed me how all the negatively was also making me a toxic person too. I now can see this isn’t in the best interest of my well being, happiness, or personal growth.

Though, I’d like nothing more than to tell her off right now. It’s probably better to let dead dogs lay, so to speak. Since she didn’t return my message, or we haven’t spoken in several days now. I’d have to say this one sided friendship has run it’s course. I have grieved the loss, and am starting to move forward again.

In this time, I’ve felt better, become more motivated, had more time to do what I enjoy, and just plan felt like a happier person. I had no idea how much her negativity had influenced my life. I can honesty say, now that I know about toxic friendships, I’ll be more informed next time.


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Naive ???

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to the news on the radio. The storyline was about an older man, in a wheelchair, that had been arrested for selling illegal drugs, while living at government housing. Upon interviewing another tenant that lived there, it was said this man sold drugs there for some time. Leading to the impression that this was nothing new and common knowledge by everyone that lived at this complex.

What really bewildered me, was the commentator of this story, seemed to be surprised and in shock that such a thing could possibly ever happen. Like really, why not? Just because that person is old or handicapped, doesn’t give them a free pass to break the law. Being old or handicapped doesn’t make them exempt from being bad or criminal people. If anything, their poverty makes it justifiable to them. After all, they have nothing to loose.

In my experience, it’s a source of income for those living in government housing. Even the property manager looks the other way most of the time, while telling you to call the police, whom do nothing either.

I know on most nights, in the building that I live in, it smells more like a marijuana factory, instead of a retirement community. The times that I’ve called the police, with the smell so strong, it’s funny how the police don’t smell a thing, or do anything about it. All awhile, those with breathing or other health problems, are made sicker from second hand fumes, in their own home. For myself personally, it wakes me up with vomiting and a migraine. 

Illegal drugs is big business, along with theft. I have come to the conclusion, if you want illegal drugs, or cheap stolen merchandise, government housing is the place to get it. Go figure?

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Questions ???

Since when did asking someone a question start making people so mad at you?

When I was young and in school, my teaches were always saying don’t be afraid to ask questions if you don’t understand something. Which being a naturally curious child, gave me lots of room to ask about anything and everything. I wanted to learn about everything, and had a lot of interest.

As an adult, that natural curiosity never left me. If anything, my interest and desire to learn became greater. I’ve also come to understand that the more I learn, the more the world opens up to me. Giving me different ideas, cultures, perceptions, viewpoints and the opinions of others. More open-mindedness and diversity, making me a much more independent thinker. I also think it helps me to make better decisions for myself, in my life. 

I have recently noticed that the more I ask questions, to get a better understanding of something from whom ever I’m talking with, they seem to get mad, offended, or annoyed with me. From my quizzical mind, I truly can’t understand why this offends them. Or why they themselves, don’t want a better understanding or knowledge about everything in their world. It truly baffles me.

Though, I have noticed that these same people seem to be more rigid and narrow-minded thinkers, with less creativity too. Now, I’m not saying either way is a better path to take. Whatever works for you. In my prospective, a narrower mind makes your world so much smaller. But, maybe folks like it better this way so they don’t have to think about things.

So, what is it that truly offends or makes them mad at a person for asking them a question? Now, I get people in authority think that you asking them a question is challenging their authority. (To much God complex or ego, if you ask me though.) When really I’m just trying to have a clearer and better understanding of what they want me to do. Since I believe in doing things right the first time, so you don’t have to repeat the process. Besides, if your going to teach your brain to do some thing new, isn’t it better to do it right the first time?

Could it have something to do with, they don’t have the answer? Does it make them feel inadequate? There’s no harm in not knowing the answer. Isn’t that the reason for asking questions, is to gain knowledge? So, ask questions, to gain knowledge, to make better choices for yourself. Or just blow it off as unworthy to know? I think you short change yourself when you blow it off. But then again some folks just plain don’t care.

Then there are those people who get down right mad or angry with you for asking a question, that they start yelling at you. Kind of like some hysterical rant on everything you’re not doing right. I very recently had this encounter with a person. They got so mad, they just about called me everything, but a white woman. The drama of it all was quite intense, over a simple yes or no question. It really became more of a side-show or temper tantrum than anything else. Kind of makes you wonder what’s really going on, to make them become so irrational that way. Personally, I don’t care how hard you try, you can’t have a civil, rational conversation with someone that’s being irrational. Best to just walk away, till they come to their senses.

Great minds, discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
Eleanore Roosevelt

Mental Slavery

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